31st oct...wah today is a sad day for mi...morning was bored...den i went to mass...waited for friend..when he came i ask him go eat he say later den i go eat carrot cake liao den we go eat lucnh...shit...waste my money..den lunch i help carry somewooden board..fucking heavy la..abit injure my hand shit man...haiz den went for my detail..super ma fan...drove in get coffee and tea to safpu...den 330 raining i went back..got drench...den waited cos heavy rain...the guard told mi he felt some shock went opening the gate for mi..suay la he..den we drove all the stuff along..den wtf they forget eggs i had to drive back to get eggs...somemore the place is smll and hard sia...den i drove back...saw shakir there block my parking slot...idiot...den i sak my friend help mi take eggs.....den i drove back..i can see from my vehical MT line ppl looking at mi...i didnt really drove exactly well and i think he laughing i guess...i feel so sad...all i wan is dear...went back rest awhile and its time to go..i rush to the bus stop..wah so fast lo..den reach lot 1 by 550..went back..i read magazine and we ate tako ball...came back really tired...den my friend came..we had dinner liao den i brought dear over to my moms room..wanting some pirvate time so i can kiss her..but sadly she rejected it...i feel terrible i feel so sad tat i say i got turn off den i go...dear came back with mi to my room..but she oso nv say anything and i was pulling a long face...till colin went i try to hug her and i wanna grab her attention..mayb i tickle her juz abit she push my hand off..i felt so hurt...its like im no nobody to her..even juz touching her i got pushed off..haiz..den she ask mi wats wrong when i didnt reply after 4 times of asking she shouted..sad...y am i always getting shouted at?mayb im juz a no life...after talkin awhile..i told dear juz settle it..den she tot i wat den she say wanna go i say her again but i still say lets go...den she cry..den i had a long talk with her..finally made up..but its time to go..den we were talking...den she say she sort of knew i was angry but didnt know wat to do and she sya oso have some of her own stand...muz show shes like the boss likedat..den i was quite sad abit..den mayb tat i say if like its a competition u wan i give it to u den she ask mi go find other gals..i dunno wats wrong with her man...i love her so much till i can give up everything but she always ask mi to go find other gals..i know its a slip of tongue but its taboo to mi..i dun wan it to happen..i dun wan to leave her but haiz....she sms when she got on bus..and its quite long..i was waiting for her to call but she didnt..i felt really disappointed...she say she tot i charge..fine..but no effort i dunno la...am i asking too much from her?i really felt very hurt sia...haizzzzzzzzzz