27th oct..wat a fucked up day...i start off with morning detail cb de nth to do ask mi go throw rubbish and deliver store...den afterdat nth to do slack till 11..read dear de blog...den kena f cos nv go top up oil...den ate lunch went to cut hair..JW cut for mi for free den i slack till 430 go collect my friend de vehical..repairs cost him $50 bucks...den top up oil oso..den went to meet dear...was in a jubliant mood to see her..we were quite happy for awhile..den we went to buy present for my friend..after deciding wat to buy we went to blue..dear wanna buy friendship bands and i got 1 for myself too oso got a necklace sweet..i was looking at the earings den dear hurry off in a puff...i juz follow..i dunno y she so pissed with mi looking at earings..ok nvm...den went to buy tako balls...dear wanna eat...den i oso buy 1 chicken for myself...i dun wan her to treat mi den i say pay seperately...cos i think she no money..den dunno wat she say wah pay for myself onli...not too sure...den she wanna treat mi dinner i dun wan cos i dun wan her no money..den she say she got but i dun wan and she got mad for no apparent reason and shouted at mi...den i choose to ignore her and try to calm myself down..den she talk to mi i listen music nv hear...but her glaring eyes and loud voice told mi shes mad..i was like pissed off..she shouted at mi still wanna scold some more...den i walk off angrily saying i dun wanna hear wat u say..and board the bus myself..nv go to the coffee shop and eat..dear juz follow up..after a while she apologise and i gradually forgive her..since she wanna treat mi ok lo i ask her buy for mi as a punishment...she look sad i hint her i go with her den she say she used to it liao..ok lo fine..used to it..im a fucker tat order her around everytime ok...nvm...den alighted the bus she still looks gloomy..i hate tat sad face...i juz wan her to be happy and she always shows mi de face...i got so turned off i dint even wanna talk to her...i ask her not to buy liao since shes so unwilling but she juz got off the bus herself...good lo..dun listen to mi..den i went home...i called her too...went up continued our quarrels till almost 830...den i went to ntuc buy dog food for ray and dinner for ourselves..colin came and we watch show..abt 945 i went to play game for a while cos i really wanted to..dear watch finish her show came out see mi play game got pissed and say u rather play game den acc mi..haiz...den we spend some time together after i coax her alittle..den 1030 we set off to jp...silly mi thinking the time is still early...den when we reach there i realise its gonna start soon..so i told her we go 1st..she looks pissed...but we had no choice..den i left..juz b4 i go i say to her i love u she oso look pissed...collected the tix called her nv pick i tot wat...den pick up finally...it seems tat nth i can do to appease her anger....watch the show and fell aslp..quite tired...but wasnt really in the mood as dear makes mi feel sian cos i make her angry...walked back and read her blog to make mi realise how angry she was...mayb its juz mi..but i feel tat she really very petty over it...i call her can dun pick and sms mi very long later to say she not angry liao...haha...suddenly i feel like im really a fool....while i have been trying my best to make our r/s as good as possible i think shes trying to destroy it with her petty acts...i dunno wat am i to her...after reading her blog i really feel fucking depress...she makes mi feel like im a sinner..i can nv do things right for her...im always the 1 who makes her angry and breaking promises...im always the 1 showing my fucked up attitude...y muz it be this way...i really feel tat im fucking lousy...the 2 words pops up in my head....but i cant bear to say it..i love her..really as much as my life...but the things and her remarks...really hurt mi..killed mi...wat am i really am to her...how can i do to make it better....i dunno i really feel like dying or forget everything...im living in turmoils...everyday the tot of meeting her always ends up in sadness...shes overbearing and her temper gets worse with each passing thing i did wrong...my heart is burning....haiz..y cant our love be so simple?the love of my life is really crushing mi to pieces...